...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
