you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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