i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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