Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
