Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
