Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
