...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
