I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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