If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
