I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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