I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
