I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
