We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
they're like a gay fantastic four
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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