your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
