:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
