you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
