Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize