sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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