grandma shit on top of the toilet
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
