butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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