Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
