is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
