If that was your dad, he is hot
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you traded sex for a burrito?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
