Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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