dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
