I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
