I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize