so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
