Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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