It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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