Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She bit a glass in half.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
