escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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