Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
