the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
