I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
COCAINE IS GR8
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
