There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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