i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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