honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
