so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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