Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
