There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
