What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
