The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
