you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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