is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
