these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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