She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
