Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
