I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
