Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
