btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
