You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize