He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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