I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
