You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I want a musical about memes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
