hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize