Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
