I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
